I want to go back..back to the spring of 2012, it was the start, as it has turned out to be one of the most magnificent and powerful transformations you could imagine. A cancer diagnosis, the break down of my 18year relationship, a long and very unnecessary drawn out ‘simple’ settlement agreement, which makes me question a system that is meant to be there to support people?
So many breakdowns, so many times I hit rock bottom, so many mornings wondering how I was even going to be able to get myself out of bed, so many days and nights I cried and cried and cried.
Everything Happens for a Purpose
But I’m here to tell you, absolutely everything that happens to you serves its purpose, I have complete clarity about why all of it had to happen. Most stunning realization was that I was going through the same break up story as
my Mother and Father . I couldn’t even express the feeling I had when I realised that my ex was actually my best healer. Let me explain…being an empath I had taken on all of the emotions and pain of my parents separation
like it was my own but I had not been given the opportunity to release it so I had lived with this energy and attracted the same situation into my life.
What we have to realise is we keep drawing the same situations into our lives which give us the opportunity to heal the wounds that we have been carrying. The only way we can release suppressed pain is by feeling it, allowing the emotions to come out..so this is the exciting news those ‘breakdowns’ are actually your best breakthroughs!
I was committed to this process, I needed to release all those years of built up emotional toxicity which had been the biggest contributor to my cancer diagnosis.
My top lesson was learning to let go. Over the last four years I have had to let go of expectations, my ovaries, my relationship, my mother, my home which was also my workspace, my car(which I wrote off last July and due to
the ridiculous legal fees have not been able to replace it) my dog for 19 months( but now have access to) some of my precious vintage china(which was accidentally smashed) and the hardest one of all my inspirational Dad (who
passed away last December) but I have faced up to each one of them and what it has taught me is the difference between painful attachment and excepting and embracing life. Realizing ‘things’ don’t make you happy. I learnt to
enjoy the moments, to stay present and to never take anyone or anything for granted. I learnt gratitude is one of the most rewarding and magical gifts you can practice. I learnt to get out of the drama(head) and reconnect to my
feelings(heart) because this is when true healing starts.
My Dad gifted me two of my most precious gifts, a few days before he passed he showed me that in the end all that matters is honouring what’s in your heart and soul. The second gift came when I got the call to say he had
passed and instead of that feeling of grief and letting go (attachment love) i felt my heart grow so big, I felt love and so much gratitude for the amazing man who was my Dad and then came the realization that for the first
time in my life I understood and embodied unconditional love and that is my favorite gift of all. Unconditional love means no conditions, not even death can take that love away.
I learnt that you can not take this courageous transformation journey on you own, I have had the most amazing healers and mentors and soul family come into my life which I am so grateful for but the most gratitude I have
is for my most precious friend who has never left my side, she has been my rock, her commitment has been unconditional.
I am now living the most beautiful life and it is all because I took responsibility, faced the darkness and worked hard on my self worth, which then bought me to the divine place of unconditional SELF LOVE….which now
attracts the most beautiful loving souls into my life..
Connection, communication and unconditional love are the keys to a happy and healthy life.
Melissa Togni is a pioneer of the conscious revolution. A vegan who loves food, animals and sharing my life wisdom. Check out her Instagram handle chillitonks