If you are in a relationship, you will need to be prepared for things not being perfect. There is no such thing as a perfect match, and oftentimes when we think we found our soulmate we find out that they can change or we only noticed what is on the surface. It is important that you understand that relationships are two-way streets, and there has to be reciprocity if you want it to work. If you are getting more stress out of your relationship, you will need to ask why and make changes or move on. Below you will find a list of things you might want to assess next time you are doing a reality check.

Things to Do Together

You might be two different people with your own interests and preferences, but there has to be something you enjoy doing together, apart from that one thing. As you get used to each other, there has to be something else that keeps you close and connected. It is a conscious decision to find something to do together, have a date night every now and then, and take time off for each other, or your love and connection will fade away very quickly and you will find yourself unhappy.

Being In Control

Image via Alex Mihai@3alexander

One of the things that can poison relationships is the power struggle between the parties. If you are constantly fighting to be right and control your lives, you might get stressed out and give up on your relationship. If you happen to come across a manipulative partner who is trying to run your life, you will feel limited and trapped. Spot the signs early and avoid being stuck in a relationship that doesn’t make you happy by contacting marie stopes family planning service, so you can lay down the foundations for trust and agreeing on important issues.

Getting the Support

Image via Nicholas Bui@nic_bui

One of the reasons why we seek relationships is because we need the support and the positive affirmation. If you notice that your partner is trying to drag you down and belittle you, it might be time to find out why they behave this way. More often than not they might feel insecure and small because you are doing better than them, or they are simply afraid that they would lose you. If they don’t back you a hundred percent, it might be time to rethink your choice of partner.

Having a Raving Fan

When we are in a relationship that is healthy, we often feel like our number one supporter is our partner. They will be happy to brag about our achievements, praise us in front of strangers, and give us the attention and appreciation we need to do our best. No matter if you are a musician, a 

hobby artist, or a marketing professional, knowing that your partner believes in you will keep you going in the hardest situations.

Shared Values

No relationship can survive without shared values. It is important that you share the same moral principles and the attitudes toward people. This doesn’t mean that you have to vote the same way or admire the same celebrities, but you should get your principles aligned. You need to have shared values about money, running your home and finances, and decision making, or your relationship will cause you more stress than joy.

Patience

When you are entering a new relationship, you might feel like there is  a perfect harmony between mind and body, but this alignment will get disturbed over time. You need to give yourself time to get used to the other person’s annoying habits and be patient with them if they are trying their best to adjust their ways. However, nothing will work without real reciprocity in your relationship, so you have to pull your weight, as well.

Expectations

Before you look for the perfect partner, you will need to have a clear idea of your expectations and make sure you are not settling for less than you think you deserve. There are some things you might find hard to put up with. It might not necessarily be their physical appearance, but their lifestyle and their preferences. If you would like to attract an independent partner, you will need to appear self-sufficient and balanced first.

The Outside World

One of the things you will need to consider before you commit to a relationship is how you will cope with the perception of you as a couple by the outside world. If your partner is not the ideal person to be on your side in the eyes of your parents or friends, you might experience inner conflict and stress. If you are absolutely sure that they are the right person, you will need to step up your game and stand by your decision publicy.

Being Good Enough

One of the reasons why people hurt each other in a relationship is that they feel they are not good enough for them. Unfortunately, this reason is often not evident, and it takes a couple of sessions with a relationship counselor to find out why your partner is treating you as an enemy. Once you have identified this behavior trait, you will need to make a decision whether you would like to help them improve their self esteem or simply give up and move on.

Freedom

Image via Alexandre Croussette@alexcrousz

If you feel like you are trapped and are limited in what you can and cannot do while in a relationship, you will never be able to become the best version of yourself and grow. There are some people who want to be in control every time and use emotional blackmailing to make you feel guilty for not complying with their wishes. Learn to spot this behavior and make a decision whether giving up some of your hobbies and aspirations is worth it.

There are many reasons why people are unhappy and stressed in relationships. Learn to understand human behavior, and you will be able to deal with whatever your partner has in store for you or move on before you develop mental health issues.

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