Grief is a very healthy and natural human reaction. One that we all suffer in some way when we lose someone that we love. Of course, left unchecked the raw and powerful emotion that is grief can cause problems in our lives, including depression, and anger. That is why it is so important to grieve in a healthy way when you have suffered a loss. A topic you can read more about in the post below.
Do allow yourself to have a reaction.
In many cultures, the initial reaction to the death of a loved one includes shouting, screaming, crying, and even tearing of clothes! Although, often in the west, we believe that we have to restrain our reaction. Both when first hearing the news, and then later on at the funeral. Something that is often referred to as ‘putting on a brave face.’
Sadly, choosing to only grieve in a restrained and private way can do more harm than good. In fact, because it prevents any release of the initial emotions of shock and pain, it can make grief much more challenging to process later on.
With that in mind, allowing yourself to feel your emotions, and have a genuine reaction to what has happened can be much more healthy in the long run.
Don’t get angry at those around you.
When we are hurting, it is often those closest to us that end up bearing the brunt of our suffering. In fact, can be very easy to take out our own pain on those around us, something that may feel as if we cannot help at the time, but can have disastrous long term consequences.
However, coping with the pain of losing someone we love, by hurting or pushing away other loved ones make no sense at all. In fact, it may just compound our feelings of loss and isolation. Not to mention that it can permanently damage the relationships that we value.
With that in mind, we must remember to treat others around us with respect even when we lost in grief. Something that may necessitate attending grief counselling to help us better manage our difficult emotions during this time.
Do make things as easy on yourself as you can.
Next, if you want to grieve healthily, remember that keeping busy can be great up to a point. However, making yourself so busy that you cannot process the situation and the emotions that you are feeling can make things very difficult indeed.
Of course, many people throw themselves into arranging a funeral for a deceased loved one as it seems like the most constructive thing to do. However, it may be more sensible to allow friends, family, and even professionals like Phillip Stephens Funerals to help lighten the load. Something that means you won’t have to do everything yourself, and so can take time to feel your feelings and care for your emotional well being too.
Don’t let your grief fester.
Raw, fresh grief is one thing. While such feelings that have been left to fester over time are something completely different. In fact, such emotions can be very damaging if the individual does not have any strategies in place to deal with them constructively. With some people developing mental health issues such as anxiety and depression as a direct result.
That is why you mustn’t allow your grief to fester, but instead get help from a psychological professional, or grief counselor. In fact, having such support can really help to take the burden of grief off your shoulders and free you up to remember your loved one in a much more positive and healthy way.
Do allow yourself to honour their memory.
Talking of remembering your loved one positively, do not forget that part of a healthy grieving process is to do things to honour their memory. Of course, what you choose to do will depend on what you see as appropriate.
With some people adding a memorial ornament to their tree to remember passed loved ones at Christmas, and others visiting their graveside with flowers on their birthday.
Additionally, keeping a favourite photo of the person that passed, on display is a way to honour their memory in everyday life as well. Something that can be an excellent way of favouring positive memories of that person, over one’s filled with the more negative side of grief.
Grief can be a complicated emotion to deal with, and it can have a significant impact on our lives. However, learning to deal with grief in a healthy way can make it easier to deal with. Something that may include allowing yourself a genuine reaction, seeking help and support from those around you and remembering the good times that you shared with the person that has passed.